Jokes jokes and jokes

1.Answer my question.

The teacher, Mr Adi asks, "Putri, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

Putri surprised and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question, Mr.Adi."

The teacher calls on Putra: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

"That's easy," says Putra. "It's the pupil of the eye."

"Very good, Putra," responds Mr. Adi. "That's correct."

He then turns to Putri and says, "First, you didn't made your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."

2. Stupid Biologist

A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog jumped across the room.

The biologist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs jumped eight feet."

Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.

After measuring the distance, the biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs jumped three feet."

Next, the biologist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog just lay there.

"Jump, frog, jump!" the biologist repeated.

Nothing.

The biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."

3. What's the difference

What is the longest word in the English language? 

SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

4. which is the fastest?

What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).

• Telegram
• Telephone
• Tell a woman

5. who doesn't like my wife?

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. 

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" 

Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." 

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." 

A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" 

With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." 

The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" 

Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

6. Do you want more?

I read this blog and I smiles, just a little. Then, my mind asks me? "do you enjoy this reading?" and I answer, "No, anyway but I have to read this till the end." "Why?" because my teacher, Mr. Adi will ask me if I enjoy this forum or not?" And what happens if you do not read this joke?... Well "nothin' happens." So if nothing happens, Why you don't stop reading now? "If I just stop reading now, I will not know what the end of this joke, so I have to keep reading. Why you ask me these questions?"... "coz... I want you to read and read....

Keep reading a lot!!!!! members.. you are develoving your English for yourself..

See ya..........

Memo to all employees: (just a joke)

Memo to all employees: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle. Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I…T). For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T). Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T) P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T. They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T. Thank you for your time. ! Sincerely, The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T)

(quoted from kinglish.com)

Welcome the new member of ECF

Hello and Welcome,

Hi, it is really great to have new members in English Community Forum. The best regard for you and I think You have come to the right place here with me to practise more your talented skill in English.

Here in this blog, I am trying also practising my skill by writing some ideas I have in mind and I would like to share with other people, including you the new members.So by joining this forum you will be free to write and share anything you are interested in. No matter what you are writing, just go ahead step by step. No worries of mistakes because we learn from our mistakes.

I will be so much happy when you keep practising your English. English Community Forum in English Forum Bali blog is a matched link for you to a better English mastery.


Keep writing here and whenever you find a problem, do not hesitate to let me know it and I will give you my hand.


Best regard,


Adin (the admin)

a little smile for you.

Who is Thomas Alfa Edison?

Teacher: “Andrew ..!Can you tell me, who Thomas Edison was ..? “
Andrew : “No Madam…”.
Teacher: “If James Watt, who is he ..?”
Andrew: “No, I don’t know either,Madam ..”
Teacher: “Andrew! How the hell you don’t know them? You never study at home mmhh? What a shame!
Andrew: “I did study at home, Madam ... Now may I ask you another two questions for you? Who is Thomas mcDull?
Teacher: “I don’t know ...”
Andrew: “If James bin Jones?”
Teacher: “No ... for sure I don’t know him. Do you know who they are ..?”
Andrew: “Well that’s it Madam ..., we have our own friends that people do not need to know who they are..”
Teacher:  ????

Small thing for a bigger result

Hello all,

For two months and more I drowned myself in a time that drove me crazy. time spent sitting in front of my desktop just to catch up the time limit has absolutely made me exhausted. I didn’t think again my healthy routine, jogging. I just didn’t want to do it because of the deadline I had. Easily triggered to get angry. and more bad conditions I met.

Now, I feel a little bit free because the targetted work has come to the 75%. I feel I am released from a huge burden upon my head. I could now breath more fresh air than before.

Finally, I learnt that the tallest skyscraper in the world now, Burj Khalifa is composed from a single little stone. :-)

I am feeling happier than before

English Forum Bali: Managing anger

English Forum Bali: Managing anger

Managing anger

Hello all,

This is an interesting idea for me. I just know that we cannot judge what kind of person we are when we are in happy mood.

The best time to know about ourselves is when we are in the state of anger. People in this condition is really temperamental..not thinking wisely….. very easy to do something bad like making bad words, shouting, screaming, destroying, or even killing other people.

To know about you yourself, just see what you will do when you are angry to somebody or some people. Are you inclined to do the bad things I mentioned above? If so, you should learn a lot more about life. (I am still in this category, but now I must learn how to manage my anger)

On the other part, if you could manage your anger into something positive, like you will not blame others, you will not shout/scream to the people you’re angry with, you will not destroy things, you will not run away, etc…. and here You deserve to get TWO THUMBS UP for your character. This is what the expert say “managing anger” when we are success… and we will live much better, also away from certain deseases,like dizzy, high blood pressure,  or even heart attact.

The best thing when we can manage our anger is that the feeling of incredible satisfaction in our mind.

I am really want to do this.. and I must do it.
How about you??

Delaying things.

As the title.. I hate myself because I always delay things while I know I have the time to make it. I do not know why this happens and happens again. I am tired thinking this very bad habit. But When I am going to try it and then I step backward again. Lazy is the most appropriate word for my character. Yes I am so Lazy. Why? People say that I have to make a life list to help me cope with the problem but When I made it already, so it is just something I will not care about. Ugh.. I hate myself. 

Puzzle for fun

"Once there was a village with a very strict rule for the men. It was said that every man in that village must have a short tidy hair. Also this rule applied to the visitors who drop in that village. One day an old grey long hair logician visited that village or a research. At the gate just before entering the village territory, he read the rule and he understood. Luckily, before he came any further he saw two barbershops, one on his left and the other one was on the opposite. In that village, there were only two barbershops anyway. Then, he went closer to the left barbershop. He looked inside; dirty shop, "what a mess", he thought. Even the barber himself, he was really untidy. he wore worn-out clothe, his skin was such left untreated. Even the worst, he has dirty hair, it was long and rumpled one. "hmmm". he thought for just a few second and finally decided to turn to the opposite barbershop. This was the opposite the just seen shop. It was very clean and tidy. Everything was in a good order and fine arrangement. No even a single hair dirtied the white floor. And the barber himself, he looked really professional barber. He was also very polite and offer the logician a soft drink as a welcoming greeting. He wore fashionable clothe and well-cut hair. He looked really like a professional one.The logician looked happy and ready to cut his hair, but finally and surprisingly, he turned back to the previous dirty barbershop to have his hair cut.

The question; How come the logician back to the dirty barbershop to have his hair cut? Can you explain this?













































The answer:

The key is that... there are only two barbers there. It means Who cuts the better hair style for each barber? it was proven the dirty barbershop had a much better barber because he cut his only barber friend well and fashionable. 

how good do you use your time?

It is almost forgotten that we have 24 hours in a day. we are provided with 1440 minutes in a single day. the question commonly asked is how much time we use effectively in a day and this just always remains thing we know but we don't know.

We know this wrong but we find it very difficult to realize the failure. I do. starting from the getting up time then, work or school time, coming back home and resting. Socializing with friends is another chore while some use their time with family. Honestly speaking, there is or are pause(s) between the hours we are running. can we calculate the remaining time used for nothing everyday. Yes, we can do it but we are just reluctant to do it once again.

How about when we are off from work or school day. Do you think we have more ineffective time?
How do you solve this matter?
Is time management crucial to explore and implement?
What the effects for a waste of time in a day?

Let's share your idea/comment!

to criticize is easy

So easy for us to send protest about something that is not in its path even though it is not meant to go wrong. The worst is when somebody is criticizing without looking at the real problem or case. Anger and hatred show up very clearly without giving solution. Here jealousy plays role also dislikes. How bad we are if we do not start changing our bad manner. Come on criticizing as well as the solution…. we are human right? things could go wrong only in second.

The earth is sick - God loves human

Hi, what is the current event, I mean the weather you have in your country now? Raining, just cloudy, hot, snowy, or just fine weather?

Almost everyday we see this earth is getting older and older and it could not stand for more for the burden it has.

There are a lot of People who are so greedy. They just think about themselves and their various interest/business. They hurt this earth. They cut down the earth’s lung (the woods) everyday. They suck the water excessively, they burn the forests, They kill animals, they create nuclear bomb, they make biological weapons, they kill even the human beings too, they shot innocent children, they destroy old and weal people, they burn the villages, they rape the woman, they kill one onother.

What is this for? the Greed!!
Bad people never care about this earth. God makes this earth for us to care of it not to destroy. 
We still need the better future for our next children. They ask us to take very good care of this world for their time in the future.

But we forget it just for our ambitions. 
God couldn’t speak to us but He sends us signs; flood, landslide, starvation, drought; to stop all our greed.

I hope people know this and back to a better way to save our planet.

Fighting laziness.

How do you fight your laziness?


It is not easy to do, for sure. Take a simple case, when it is time to get up early in the morning and we just feel so hard to make it. Wasting time is thing we are likely doing. It is almost every time. In 24 hours a day, how much time do we use very effectively for good things?


I am one of the lazy people in this earth. Just to get up at 5 everyday, I have to force and struggle myself very hard. I switched off the waker when I felt it was such a very disturbing alarm. In fact, I set the waker to help me get up.. It's funny. A few more minutes" I whispered myself. But finally I got up very late and sometimes I have to get some "nice words" from my boss for being late and late again.


coming from work, I spent my time reading daily papers for about half an hour. There is long pause after this activity before I have to get shower in the evening around 7 or 8 pm. If I count my wasted time in a day in average.. It will accumulate at no 4 or 5 hours. In a month it becomes 150 hours and 1800 hours for a year.


wow a fantastic number. 
If I use that time for work for instance.. I guess I will be very rich now. Suppose 1 hour side job worths 5 US$ hahaha... 


do you also spend your time like me? come on share it here.

Education for free(Big question)

What do you think of Education? Is it very Important for you?
Could we get the knowledge from school freely from money? what is the most priority in a country to build, in your opinion?.......... and many more questions I had in my mind.

Let’s glimpse a bit about education experience in Indonesia.

We have the same level of education almost in all part of the world. starting from a play group until the university level. The higher the level and of course the more expensive it is. It is the reality here. The government, in my idea should be responsible for the education even for the best education ever. We pay taxes every year. With the number of people more than 240 million, I think the government must put the education as the most priority in its development.

we are 65 years more having our freedom but it seemed that education isn’t put the first. Corruption is everywhere but education is very expensive for most people here. Intelligent and brainy students from the poor have no access for better study. And this is ridiculous.

So the education, for me is the base for anything in a country. Free access to education should not be limited. Education for all. No matter what. The country with its education for the highest priority will conquer everything very fast. Technology and science are very close to this country.

Look at Japan! after the nuclear bombs in Nagasaki and Hiroshima 68 years ago, The emperor put his first priority in education for the development, and the result… we can see it clearly everyday… It is one of the world Giants in economy, science and technology. China with its revolution in education has gain its critical time now to stay together with the other giants of the world conquerers.

I am dreaming this happens to my (our) country.

How about you?

Self-motivation for work

Sometimes, people are giving words to me to motivate me in doing better things in life. Some of them are right and I was trying the ways suggested. For a while, some of them were working fine and well but they would vanish gradually as I got less and less motivated in doing certain jobs.

Working in office with the same people - co-workers everyday made me sometimes, bored because no new ideas were offered. I thought they were exactly the same as me. I was also very bad for a new idea. Talking on certain problems to somebody was one way out for me. researching things on different web sites were really time consuming for certain times. When a problem arose and it wasn’t the good time to search the solution because of, for instance, it was the office time. After home, it was difficult to get my mood to sit and look for the solution.

There were times I tried very hard to motivate myself that I had to do things quickly and satisfy other people who needed my service.
In this way.. I felt I had failed to serve others. And this situation did make me find an escape for the job I had. It was really heart-sick feeling.

How about you? What do you do to motivate yourself?
Would you help tell me some good ways?

Best regard,

Adin